New Balance: the old lady in the shoe


you are getting very sleepy



New Balances are the shoes of old ladies on the bus. i KNOW!! cuz i ride the bus a lot, and ive seen how old ladies love that nondescript gunmetal grey.. plus the word BALANCE is a sort of talisman against a fractured hip. but the #2 biggest consumer of new balances are computer science majors, who love them for almost the exact same reasons they are popular with old ladies. and that would be their macintosh plastic grey body, and the renewed sense of coordination they bestow upon the uncoordinated.

As for me, i love that they are so stylishly plain. they are like the kinds of cheap generic sneakers your mom might try to trick you into getting at Kmart, while stocking up on underwear and certain lesser-brandname jeans that kids would tease you about in 7th grade. but they arent! they are actually good shoes! i did my research and discovered that new balance has been around since the early 1900s, started as a manufacturer of orthopaedic shoes and orthotic inserts! how very healthful! and what's nicer, is that no asian slave laborers were exploited in their making.. or at least they didnt mention them at the NB website! so shed no tears about wearing new balances, they're just plain good!

i actually chose 2 models to show off in this article to prove that i was not a fashion dictator. you have a CHOICE!

my personal fave is the 585. it has plenty of navy appliques on the meshy gray body of the shoe. and then on top of that youve got two reflective patches which are so so wonderful! it's really a secret sparkle but the literature says it can be seen 360degrees around you. that way you can totally be sneaky and showing off at the same time! one caveat though.. there are some 585s out there with navy leather instead of suede. dont get them!! they are totally ugly! if you can get it in suede, yr all set. the only questionably bad thing about the 585 is the mysterious "ROLL BAR". the rollbar is like a lump in the sole that makes it so that you cannot stand with yr feet flat on the ground for about a week! im serious. its constantly teetering like a tiny rocking chair. so, if you are sitting, or constantly moving, its not noticable. but if you are required to be in a stationary position for a long time, its a bit annoying. but i KNOW what fastpaced lives the readers of blair lead, so keep on sittin!

the alternative to the 585, is the 496. the 496 is a more classic new balance look. it has those ugly non-suede leather appliques though, and no reflectivity. the sole however is lacking the rollbar, so if you are into standing, then it might be the shoe for you! otherwise i think they are only OK.

if you decide to get new balances, you might meet some unexpected obstacles like... YR FRIENDS! some people had tried to turn me away from getting these shoes, but they were evil! these would be the same ppl who hate old ladies and emo CS boys. but if you are a real shoe nut and listen to me, you will know the only reason they are against you is cuz they are JEALOUS of you! ...AS USUAL.

return to